Utah Free Press

I’m No Slimy WOG!

November 27th, 2008 – By Richard Okelberry - On November 23rd the Herald Journal in Logan, Utah along with several other media outlets reported that it was believed that Michael Stark a freshman at USU and Sigma Nu died from alcohol poisoning as part of an apparent hazing ritual. While the story has yet to be corroborated by a single eye witness, I want to use this opportunity to discuss hazing in general.

What I am about to say will certainly be unpopular and I doubt that I will find a single ally on this issue but I completely support hazing and believe it should be decriminalized. Current Utah State statutes provide severe penalties for hazing ranging from a Misdemeanor to even a Felony depending on the severity and the outcome. I believe that such laws against hazing are an assault on personal freedoms. While I would never condone forced hazing, I believe that it should be a basic freedom for anyone to voluntarily submit themselves to hazing rituals.

Hazing rituals have been a part of society since before recorded history. Tribal man would often use hazing as it is used today to initiate their young men as warriors and equals in the tribe. We humans have done this since the dawn of civilization because it is the most effective way to establish comradery and because it allows its members to prove their strength and gain the respect of their fellow tribesmen. Even today, if it were not exempted by State Statute, the military could regularly be charged with hazing for use of current training techniques in boot camp.

My first experience with ritual hazing came during boot camp. While the long sessions of calisthenics and the relentless yelling by company commanders were certainly hazing, it was not until I committed my first and only infraction while serving in the military that I experienced a form of hazing directed specifically at me. Another recruit and I were called upon to escort a sick recruit to medical. Once there we had to wait to escort him back. Because our company had earned smoking privileges, the other escort and I stepped outside to have a smoke. Unfortunately, we didn’t realize that our hard fought privilege didn’t extend outside of the barracks and we were “written up” by another company commander. That day, the other escort and I after an extended period of yelling were assigned to stand at parade rest, midday for two hours during the middle of the summer in Orlando FL. So ritualized was this punishment, that footprints had been painted on the surface of the concrete so that we would know where to stand. While the experience was certainly grueling it taught me a valuable lesson. I would never again assume any privilege or order during my service in the military.

My next major experience with hazing came during what is known as the Shellback or Crossing the Line initiation. The Shellback initiation is a voluntary two day ritual that takes place when a ship crosses the equator. This initiation is not for the faint of heart and involves day long ordeals and challenges that include climbing through weeks of stored trash, being slapped on the back with cut pieces of fire hose and bobbing for items in a toilet filled with, among other things the puke of the Wogs that came before you. I say Wogs because prior to the initiation you are considered a slimy Wog (a Pollywog.) Once completed you graduate to the exalted position of Shellback. Few, even in the Navy get the opportunity to participate in this 19th century ritual because few cruses go below the equator.

So why would I submit myself to such a torturous event? Because I knew that never again would I have the opportunity to take part in one of the Navy’s oldest traditions. I knew that by taking part, I would emerge a changed man. I would be stronger and more capable of enduring the worst that life may have to offer. It was perhaps this experience that helped me stay optimistic when I first had to live in a wheelchair and was faced with years of surgeries and rehabilitation.

Now I look around and I see a society that is becoming largely devoid of those who are willing to take on such challenges willingly. We are told that we should put our kids in “non-competitive” sports where the score is never kept and everyone feels like a winner. Well, being a winner and being strong is not the same thing as simply believing you are. While there will always be those not willing to stand up to the most formidable challenges, our nation still needs those that are willing to do what it take and endure the most grueling of tests and challenges. We still need true warriors in our society not just a bunch of pacified pansies. That’s right, I said pansies.

This entire topic reminds me of a satirical essay I read once where the author conjectured that eventually we would become a society where everyone is encased in Styrofoam with electrodes connected to their brains. All communication would be filtered by a system that would ensure that no one’s feelings ever got hurt and the foam would ensure that we could never even accidentally bump into each other.

I would argue that we don’t need specific laws against hazing because we already have plenty of laws dictating proper conduct. In the case of the death of Michael Stark there should certainly be questions answered about whom provided this minor with alcohol and if it was sanction by the Fraternity or Sorority charges should be levied appropriately. But to add an addition charge of what amounts to peer pressure is completely ridiculous. As long as hazing rituals do not violate any other laws and as long as the participation is completely voluntary, I don’t believe the government has any right to interfere regardless of whose sensibilities are insulted.

I wonder what kind of lawyers and doctors we would have if we began applying laws against hazing to the way their professors educate them? After all, these two professions go through some of the hardest and most mentally tasking training of any profession. Any first year law student will tell you that to be called on in class by your professor after being overloaded with case studies can be one of the most intense forms of public humiliation. According to the law, entrance into an organization like the Bar should not be contingent on an applicant being able to withstand such humiliation. Would we all be safer if our doctors and military soldiers where handled with kid gloves and never been required to perform under intense pressure?

Now I know there are those who will attack me for what I’ve said and those that will apply their own version of peer pressure or public humiliation. There will be those who will attempt to haze me into compliance on this issue. To them I say; bring it on, I can take it! You see, I’m no slimy little Wog! I’m a SHELLBACK and proud of it!

The Fraternity Order of the Star Spangled Shellbacks

The Fraternity of the Star Spangled Shellbacks

Know ye, that ……………….. on the ….. day of ….. , aboard ………….. appeared at the equator at Latitude …..° , Longitude …..° entering into Our Royal Domain, and having been inspected and found worthy by My Royal Staff and was initiated into the Solemn Mysteries of the Ancient Order of the Deep. I command my subjects to Honor and Respect him as one of our Trusty Shellbacks.

(Signed)
Davey Jones — His Royal Scribe
Neptunus Rex — Ruler of the Raging Main

The Voluntary Tax

November 7th, 2008, by Richard Okelberry - With government coffers depleted and most people unable to afford tax increases under current economic pressures we might want to consider a new concept in taxation, the voluntary tax.  Each year special interests from the teachers unions to land conservation groups lobby the government and the people for more money.  While some of these projects may be a vital interest to some they certainly aren’t a necessity to most.  Still, many would argue that certain programs, like education are underfunded and in constant need of new money.  This is where a Voluntary Tax would come in.

A Voluntary Tax or “VTax,” would be a specific section of the state tax form that would allow citizens to individually pay a little extra money to the government for whichever specific program they support.  This system would serve several major purposes.  Not only would it provide addition funding from strong supporters regardless of a lack of wide public support but it would allow legislators to weigh how much actual support each program has by allowing people to vote with their pocketbooks.  If a program like education starts bringing in large sums on a volunteer basis, legislators may see this as an indicator that there is great support for the program.  Conversely if a program receives little or no donations, legislators might take it as a sign that the program should be scraped or reformed.  After all, if even the most die hard supporters of a program aren’t willing to kick in a little of their own cash to support a program, how can we expect those that have no interest in the program to do the same.

A system like this could be a revolutionary concept around the nation and ultimately may create a system wherein State governments only provides the bare essentials to various programs and the rest is funded by a form of monetary voting.   Also, instead of throwing huge dollars at issue campaigns like the school voucher issue, advocates and opponents can instead use that money as a kind of donation to favored programs to show legislators and the public the kind of support the program has.  Imagine if instead of fighting over school vouchers, each side invested their money into their own perspective programs instead of blowing it on radio and TV adds that only serve to divide communities.

Finally, a voluntary tax system would put a sock in the mouths of those who are always willing to propose tax increases for everyone else but never willing to write out the check themselves.  Ultimately, taxation and spending is about power.  This system will help take some of the power away from special interests and place it firmly in the hands of the constituents.  Also a system like this will allow those who have a little more and would like to give back to the community an easy and direct avenue for contributing.

THE WAR IS OVER!!!

The end of the "Bush" War!

November 5th, 2008, by Richard Okelberry – With a sweeping victory yesterday in the nation presidential election one thing should be certain, the troops are coming home.  Of all the promises made by Obama during the campaign, it was his stand against the War in Iraq that ultimately gave him victory over Hillary Clinton and paved the way to defeating a weak Republican candidate.  Now that all the speeches are given and all the votes have been cast, those who have long opposed the War in Iraq can finally claim victory and expect with full confidence that Obama on the day following his inauguration in January will issue an order to his military commanders to bring the troops home.

On the Barack Obama web site and as echoed throughout many of his speeches, President-Elect Barack Obama has state that, “Immediately upon taking office, Obama will give his Secretary of Defense and military commanders a new mission in Iraq:  successfully ending the war.  The removal of our troops will be responsible and phased.”

While it is certain that troop movements of this scale may take some time, we should all be certain that under his command Obama will no longer risk the life of even one more U.S. serviceman or servicewoman to defend Iraqis or fight insurgents/terrorists in Iraq. While many of the headlines this morning around the country are centered around the fact that Obama is the first Black President, I want to be the first to say, ”THE WAR IS OVER!!!”

Will Obama be a Winner?

November 3rd, 2008, by Richard Okelberry - While I don’t care for the idea of Barrack Obama as President, what scares me most and what I feel most should be concerned about is the fact that the Democrat Party is very likely to sweep both the House and the Senate in this election. I have long held the political philosophy that our government is most efficient when no one party; Democrat or Republican holds power over both the House and the Senate. Now add to the mix the idea of having Barrack Obama as President and we having the makings for a Perfect Political Storm in Washington. In reality, with the exception of a few key divisive issues, there is not a huge chasm between the Democrats and Republicans when each has total power. The one thing that will be certain if Obama is elected is that we will see a rapid increase in government spending, an expansion of entitlement programs and ever increasing taxes to pay for it. With no counterbalance from an opposing political party, the Democrats will be free to enact every program that they have ever dreamt of and spend money however they see fit. The doors to the U.S. Treasury will be flung open fort least the next two years.

While I am sure many liberals see this as a joyous opportunity to put into practice many of their political philosophies, I would argue that with all this new power comes a great responsibility. If things go as predicted and Democrats are successful they will have no excuses at all for failing to turn the economy around, end the war in Iraq, eliminate the need for fossil fuels, stop global warming, stick it to the rich and major corporations like Wal-Mart, provide more funding for teachers and education, provide medical coverage for EVERYONE who doesn’t have it and capture Osama bin Laden. While this is certainly an impressive laundry list, I imagine most liberals are completely confident that their appointed officials are up to these tasks and then some.

Remember, if this election goes as “planned” there will be no Conservatives to blame for failure two years from now. Worse, if the nation slips into a long term recession or heaven forbid a depression and if Obama can’t get us out of Iraq without that country falling apart, he will likely be relegated to morbid list of one-term presidents. So will the “messiah,” Obama be remembered as the man who brought the country together and rallied us to victory during war time and economic turmoil? Or will he simply be another do-nothing blip in history only remembered for sending our nation further down the path to socialism and for losing another war? What will be the historical legacy of America’s first Black President? We will have to see.

Prediction Markets; The new Online Casinos.

October 1st, 2008 by Richard Okelberry - Recently, I noticed a new sponsor link at KVNU For the People for a company called Predictify.  Predictify, like Intrade is a Prediction Market where everyday people can put their money where their mouth is in predicting the outcome of various events.  Marketed as Investment Markets, these sites allow people to buy “stock” in current events.  One of the most popular current events at Intrade right now is the U.S. Presidential election.  Some have put their money on Obama to win while others are betting McCain will be victorious.  Much like other investment markets, people can buy in our sell out at anytime, causing the price of the stock to rise or fall accordingly. 

Many experts have pointed to these sites as being very accurate in predicting world events because people are less likely to vote simply based on preference when their checkbooks are involved.  The question I have is; how is this any different that going to the horse races and placing money on a particular filly?  To be clear, I personally don’t have any problem with people gambling every cent away if they like.  That said, with only a few heavily regulated exceptions, gambling in most states is still illegal.   Here in Utah for example, gambling is so scorned that even popular lotteries are banned.  Therefore I must ask, is it legal for people in the state of Utah to put their money on an event like the election at one of these “Investment Markets?”

While many have long argued that the Stock Markets are nothing more than gambling, I would disagree.  Unlike Prediction Markets, when a person buys stock at the NY Stock Exchange, they are actually purchasing a small piece of an actual company.  Conversely, when you purchase stock at a Prediction Market, there is no ownership.  Instead, you are simply placing a wager that can be pulled for a loss or a profit at any time.

Intrade executives have been defending the site against charges of gambling by pointing out that unlike a Casino, Intrade doesn’t act as the “House” and merely takes a commission for trades.  This is a ridiculous argument, because it is the exact same way a horse track makes money and the same way even a casino makes money during High Stake events, like poker tournaments.  In each case the track or the casino’s “commission” is predetermined and the gamblers actually bet against each other.

Let’s be honest, without ownership in an actual company or commodity, sites like Intrade and Predictify are simply giving gamblers a new unregulated form of gambling.  I should also warn anyone who is considering using one of these sites and who see’s it as no different than any other form of market speculation that that Prediction Markets have become plagued with Inside Trading and market manipulation far worse than that experienced during the Day Trading boom in the late 90’s.  Also, do not be surprised to see states like Utah along with the Federal Government cracking down on the use of these sites in the near future.